just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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