white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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