She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
