I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
