What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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