The best revenge is premature balding
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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