I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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