And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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