I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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