And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
