So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
