Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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