Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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