Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
