It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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