i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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