i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
