Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize