He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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