I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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