I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
