Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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