i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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