It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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