Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
