one two three fourrrrnication!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
