why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
