no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
