Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
