he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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