Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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