waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
