OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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