they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
