just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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