it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
