My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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