This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
