U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
