and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize