So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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