Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
