he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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