She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How external is "for external use only"?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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