I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
