weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
