My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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