gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
