I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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