I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
