wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
