i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
