can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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