Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
