This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
