So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
