So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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