I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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