Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
