He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize