my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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