May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
