maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
