"it" just moved
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
